| Three for next |
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| 01:24am 17/08/2009 |
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--Maestro Geppetto--
Geppetto's clock, the wood chop
To harvest not is to choose not
So much attention, focused on wood, focused on wood (3x)
Strings under tension, if it hasn't, it should
Geppetto's shop, Geppetto's might
To harvest correctly, to choose right
So much attention, focused on wood, focused on wood (3x)
Strings under tension, if it hasn't, it should
All admit the last refuge of sky
On hallowed ground, it's so high
and all revere the last stronghold of sky
become clear, when you're near I
welcome you to the last bastion of sound
when you're around, reply
and leave your shoes outside where you came
speak the name and retry
So much attention, focused on wood, focused on wood (3x)
Strings under tension, if it hasn't, it should
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--Problems--
Mountains tunneled out filled with depleted uranium
establishment conditioning straight into your cranium
he's careful and reserved but when he's driving he's a maniac
2400 SAT contemporary brainiac
A sinking ship
A useful fool
A sinking ship, a useful fool, starts to drain, used to drool
Quills rise in response
to stimulation with instant speed
Heady nonchalance
Avoidance guaranteed
2400 on the SAT
solved all the problems correctly
graphite flakes, no mistakes
whining, opining, all day
A sinking ship
A useful fool
A sinking ship, a useful fool, starts to drain, used to drool
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--Zookeeper Acquires--
Tigress is leaving, for now, for now
Tigress is leaving, for now, for now
Tigress is leaving, for now, for now
Tigress is leaving, for now, for now
Tigress is leaving, to plow, to plow
Tag that fucking huge wild goddamn beast
Tag that fucking huge wild goddamn pussy |
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| oh |
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| 10:50am 02/07/2009 |
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1. Be more aggressive
2. Lower standards |
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| WOoo |
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| 07:13pm 10/06/2009 |
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Thank you Sy Loady for the cartoon porn zines and punk rock golden shower classifieds |
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| The Rest |
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| 12:52am 02/03/2009 |
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65535 Problems
I can make this burden lift up off of me
I can erase this traceless mad plutocracy
I feel anguish for the karma I've unleashed
I've been shaken by atonement I've beseeched
oh, seems the sewer's flowing, seems the stack is growing tonight
oh, seems the body's shiftless, seems the mouth is lipless, all right all right
reaching reaching pleasing pleasing nervous nervous circus circus
finished fraction action action purpose purpose service service
karma karma drama drama polished polished knowledge knowledge
good intention honorable mention fix it fix it significant digit
exchange exchange makes you makes you feel strange feel strange makes you arrange arrange your life
salt wound salt wound makes you makes you read rune read rune makes you exhume exhume the strife all right
if you have to stay you will find a way
meditate on nought map constrain the thought
detachment is cyclic fortune weathers a storm
relics on a shelf please unmask yourself
making people feel special and wanted and warm
the zero isn't free a shock no eyes can see
I've got 65535 problems ahead of me
I can make this hissing trouble disappear
I can erase this parasitic clad career
I feel hopeful for the augmentation, signed
I've been wary of a mode corroded blind
oh, seems the dam is broken, seems the gates are open tonight
oh, seems the trouble's piling, seems the mind's implying it's all right it's all right
reaching reaching pleasing pleasing nervous nervous circus circus
finished fraction action action purpose purpose service service
karma karma drama drama polished polished knowledge knowledge
good intention honorable mention fix it fix it significant digit
exchange exchange makes you makes you feel strange feel strange makes you arrange arrange your life
salt wound salt wound makes you makes you read rune read rune makes you exhume exhume the strife all right
if you have to knock you have missed the lock
it belongs to you verdant future clue
detachment is cyclic fortune weathers a storm
relics on a shelf please unmask yourself
making people feel special and wanted and warm
the zero isn't free a shock no eyes can see
I've got 65535 problems ahead of me
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Trolls (Refresh Refresh)
he's checking up fire flies through the finger, what's the trigger of holding up
he's flipping out forums fashion a ladder, what's the matter with speaking out
refresh the browser again to post your comment
but he doesn't want it, no he doesn't want it
on the internet anyone can be brave so what you want is selfish spin and roll and cut yourself
lololololol don't feed the trolls
he's rashing up ridicule or agreement what's the treatment of hanging up
he's backing out ego builds or else shatters what's the pattern of helping out
refresh the browser again to post your comment
but he doesn't want it, no he doesn't want it
on the internet anyone can be brave but what you want is selfish spin and roll and cut yourself
lololololol don't feed the trolls
you can be who on the internet
you can't do what on the internet
you defending your fief on the internet
you the self-proclaimed king of the internet
he's rack tacking up getting anxious and nervous what's the service in standing up
he's lashing out server load is too busy what's the dizzy in reaching out
refresh the browser again to post your comment
but he doesn't want it, no he doesn't want it
on the internet anyone can be brave but what you want is selfish spin and roll and cut yourself
lolololololololololololololololololololol don't feed the trolls
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Sweet French Braid Baguette
who's unworthy who should vet
who is lovelorn who's in debt
who misplaced the silhouette
I see the sweet french braid baguette
sassing out the grass-tongued lass
piles of piercings power to pass
gleam in the eyes ends dull, ignored
thrown in the cold not wanted anymore
who's got vacuum tube and FET
who massages bra and ket
who's got orthonormal set
I see the sweet french braid baguette
weeding out the needy leads
surprise sample speaking speeds
inner beauty seldom shout
underpinned last in, first out
who is struggling who's ahead
who's got phosphenes flashing red
who can filter nest and net
I see the sweet french braid baguette
poison pattern pressing pain
boredom bounded bandaged brain
sordid shrapnel signing strain
impotent ignoble insane
who retires to a comfy bed
who exemplifies the dead
who to his nightmares n' dreams is wed
I see the sweet french braid baguette
forging modern life fantastic
chumming lies in a sea of plastic
write down everything you know
write down everything you know
who's unworthy who should vet
who is lovelorn who's in debt
who misplaced the silhouette
I see the sweet french braid baguette
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Just Out of Reach and So Thick You Could Stab It
the emblem hovers in the sky
it's just out of reach it seems but it means we have to give it a try
why what makes it so important
our schema can attest
we need a new cartography
the space is thick with questions sought
the information could subtend an arc of burning thought
wow just out of reach and so thick you could stab it
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Localization
confined to lobes and slabs it what you what you know
the coupling elements indeed refuse to grow
you can hear their chime
resonant in time
localized and slow
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A.D.D.E.N.N.U.I.
I see I see rising not here not here
go make soft play today go away isometric so electric okay
I see I see rising not here not here
go make soft play today go away isometric so electric okay
get myself set up to be a medicated wreck like you
and everybody else body else make yourself so great so great
take it back so ingrained so drained so bored let's go do something else
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Every "TCKLICK" Intentional
you see, it's not really cheating
if you use the scissor operator, the scissor operator
adjust it by hand
you see, it's not really cheating if you use the scissor operator
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Ivan Ilych was Faking It
a grim misfortune leaves a funny taste in mouth
from the one who places power to a scab spiraling south
from the height of aristocracy to writing on the wall
it ust be so damn embarrassing to open up at all
hey look, Ivan said sorry about this mess
oh yes wait wait wait wait listen to his breath
okay see check again bishop move is best
fast break your sake, give and take, take among the rest
so Ivan reams and rambles gives a human face to tragedy
of course he might mean nothing and his mind is duped by apathy
attacked out out of stock and ruined symbol of the times
in the search for absolution for the most dreadful of crimes
hey look, Ivan blinks listen to what he said
slow down, shush up, quiet now wait until he's dead
hey hey come on, checkmate now the queen will rule instead
slow down, shush up, quiet now wait until he's dead
oh Ivan you can't convince me
of Ivan do whatever you want
oh oh oh oh Ivan you can't convince me
you're not just doing this to spite yourself and God |
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| Things to do when I have time |
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| 08:02pm 07/02/2009 |
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I think eventually I'm going to bundle my first 28 songs as a maxi-CD and sell it. Before that happens I need to make it sound really good instead of being a DIY hack-job.
Regarding the remastering/re-betterment of my first two albums:
Vocal level on Midnight Apocalypso must be properly normalized. Levels should be mixed better.
Need more low (~100Hz) effects to compliment highs on Y2038P. Maybe left/right sweep with crazy low distortion. Vocal level ok. Other levels need mixing.
Both Uke songs are ok... maybe I can reduce the background noise even further?
Vocal level on Be Charming is off. Might need a re-record. Levels need to be mixed better.
Mandelbrot is ok the way it is... levels & vocals & mixing are ok... may want to record the high guitar line I play over it when I play this song live.
New Masada needs better vocal mixing and overall mixing/level adjustment to make it sound less flat.
Red Cup needs an organ part and possibly a vocal and bass re-record, along with re-mixing and EQ of the levels.
Stacks of needs better mixing and EQ. I actually like how this song sounds kinda flat. I think it's fitting.
Guilderland Fall is ok the way it is, minus adjustment of vocal level.
Searching for Higgs needs a vocal re-record I think, and remixing the levels to make the main guitar part a little louder.
A[g64,g64] might need to be re-done from scratch with a different drum beat. I also like the blastiness and crunchiness of the guitars but it could definitely stand to be remixed and EQ'd.
Raggedy Sam Droggity could use a vocal re-record and mixing and EQ to get the mid and high of the bass more pronounced.
Ratter needs a little more volume on the guitars. Besides that I think it's ok.
Fenced In needs to sound less flat. A good re-mixing and EQ should fix that.
I like how In the Thick of it sounds. So much going on there I wouldn't know where to start if I wanted to change anything. More volume on the vocals I think and slightly less on the bass.
Tea Party may need a vocal re-do and EQ on the bass to make it sound sick.
Human Landfill is fine.
Serpentine needs a remix and EQ of all levels. This one sounds really flat and quiet and it shouldn't.
We are Friends needs a re-EQ and remix. Vocal part near the end is very mediocre. Should be re-recorded.
Steady Diet of Footprints is perfect the way it is... maybe the reverse drums should be a little louder.
Westiclivity accent needs a GOOD re-EQ (esp. on the the drums and rhythm guitar) and remix. Also should remove the vocal sweep at the beginning of each verse.
The Wall Within Me is PERFECT and should not be touched AT ALL.
The Power of Incompleteness is probably the one song I did that I'm most deeply disappointed in. The drums sound horrible and off-beat, especially at the beginning of each whole progression. That should be fixed, along with EQ and re-mix. The tape echo part at the end has got to go. I think it's a great song but it needs a lot of work to make it sound satisfactory. The guitars sound ok, I don't think they need a re-record.
Collections could benefit from a slightly modified set of lyrics and vocal re-record. I like the way the guitars sound. Kind of a mix of Nirvana and Rudimentary Peni. Drums suck. EQ and remix like all others. I don't understand why there's a fade-in at the beginning of the song. It peeves me.
Energy Weapon Test NEEDS A MUCH BETTER REMIX and EQ. It sounds SOOOO FLAT compared to the others. There are parts when it gets quiet where the guitars or bass is off, esp. at the second chorus. Also the fade-in for the drum beat should probably start at ~30% volume instead of 0.
Svalbard Nook is ok. I can't for the life of me remember how to play it so I guess it just needs to be re-EQ'd. |
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| Defiance Lends Itself to Triumph |
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| 10:16am 04/02/2009 |
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she could be suffering, I think she's confused
she will find her own
I've got some tension, connection refused
I will find my own
oh, defiance lends itself to triumph (x2)
conflict won't break us, it builds us instead
we will find our own
flexing the muscle that propels us ahead
we will find our own
oh, defiance lends itself to triumph (x2) |
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| And! |
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| 03:17pm 30/01/2009 |
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For some reason today I feel great!
I think I've willed myself out of it.
And I solved a problem that's been hampering me for weeks today at work.
Hopefully this continues. It's okay to feel like crap once in a while but it really sucks to feel good then crappy then good then crappy etc. I think that's been what's getting me down.
And! I can't wait for sunday when I can start the RPM challenge! SPARSE TRACELESS MUTHAFUCKIN MATRIX, B! |
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| I'm really stressed out |
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| 09:32pm 29/01/2009 |
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And I have been ever since last week- man it's just been so up-and-down for me. I'm losing sight of the things that made me happy. I feel like I'm just going through the motions. Part of it, it feels like, is that I miss being in love. Being in love is one of the most wonderful things that humans could have and to be without it after having it for so long feels really crappy. To top it all off, I thought I was going to have it again, but NO, not this time. I don't want to get into it. I know it's all me being too sensitive that's getting me down but I really feel like shit. Not to say I know exactly how this particular situation will pan out or if anything will EVENTUALLY ever happen, but I really feel lead-on and misled. Hopefully we can stay friends without this affecting my life. I've just got to push some things out of my head.
Sometimes I feel like I can't concentrate on stuff for work because these situations and ideas keep looping around in my head. It sucks. I have to present my research at the APS conference in Pittsburgh in Mid-March and I'm publishing my research results too. There's still a lot of work to be done and I just have to hunker down and do it. Maybe I need some time alone, but I miss those loving feelings so bad I feel like I would do anything to have it back (short of re-dating (NAME WITHHELD) again).
I'm not really THAT much of a mess now, I think. Just going through normal people stuff. I'm exercising more and eating healthier but I'm losing weight and that is NOT ok, not when I'm down to 121 lbs and looking skinnier than ever.
Gaaahhh I wish I could just magically meet someone that could make this all better. My friends are great but I feel that sometimes they don't understand. It's a crime, really; I'm one of the most optimistic, aware, forward-thinking, creative and bright people I know and now I just feel washed out. I shouldn't be. I have the power to change this but I feel encumbered by all this bullshit and it sucks.
(PERSONAL SHIT WITHHELD)
I hope February brings in some good into my life. I could really use it.
What's there to do? |
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| Unfortunate |
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| 06:53pm 27/01/2009 |
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This morning at ~1:30 AM, Rachel Bierach died in a car crash. She was the first girl I ever made out with.
It's so sad. Except for a brief online conversation about our respective music projects, I hadn't talked to her in ten years. I should have got to know her better. We met at CTY the summer after 8th grade. She was really musically talented. My heart goes out to her family. She had a daughter, Violet, too.
Here's the article from the paper:
http://www.mercurynews.com/localnewsheadlines/ci_11563133?source=rss |
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| (Not the) Last Uke Song on STM |
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| 01:08am 21/01/2009 |
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Making good progress here today..... lotta stuff on the ol' noggin. This one's what you get when you take a visceral, ignoble human and cross it with a semi-good idea for a diet (the subject of this song is obviously not endocrine-ly balanced though). In some respect this song reminds me of what I was trying to get at with "Steady Diet of Footprints" from In The Thick of It but with an androgenic twist. Also today I realized that many of these songs start out semi-autobiographical but are then pushed hard to the limit of artistic license:
Estrogen-Free Diet (there are interspersed aauuugghhs throughout the song a la Darby Crash)
living alone got hot cologne
not getting enough testosterone
gal told me that she hates my dick
not good enough she makes me sick
watch the grub that I intake
stark-awake protein shake
you wanna know why I'm the fuckin' guy?
fuck off and die fuck off and die
I'm not unstable I'm a solid dude
I'm not in the mood the solitude
living alone I grunt n' groan
not getting enough testosterone
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Nah, that didn't work. Not abrasive enough. How about this:
Bleak Outlook
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musicians are fucked
they come up with stupid bullshit
it all sounds the same
I wonder why fuck off and die
scientists are fucked
they're all a bunch of elitist assholes
and only talk about smart shit
I wonder why fuck off and die
men are fucked
they only think with their cocks
and drink piss-beer
i wonder why fuck off and die
Yay! Another Uke song on STM! Only 2 3 (I have no idea how many more) more guitar songs and 1 (maybe several) mandolin song(s) to write lyrics for then I'm DONE and ON TO RECORDING IN FEBRUARY!!! WOOO. |
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| Another Uke Song |
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| 11:11pm 20/01/2009 |
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Body Enemy
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The test results are coming in
Think I'll sit down for this one
The sweet travails of a simpler life stellated
To apoptosis, replicated
What's there to do? (x3)
What's there to do now?
The patient-confidential call
The capsid's fucked geometry
The sacred sting of borrowed time
The sarcoid shift of paradigm
What's there to do?
What's there to do now?
What's there to do now that I know?
What's there to do?
But get up (x1000) |
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| Last one for now I promise |
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| 01:48am 12/01/2009 |
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I kind of like having these on the internet in case these papers get lost or something... also, anybody can read them and 'stalk' the work in progress that is Sparse Traceless Matrix (or my life). Gah I have to get up really early tomorrow.
Potentials
we might have to chop our own wood
learn the rudiments and skills that we should
it's uncomfortable out there but we might have to deal
so treasure your friends keep a holistic picture in mind and you'll see that the goal is to find your own
strength well we got it
these times seem so new
the change well we bought it
it rests on you
we might have to haul our own water
stick together and seek like we're augurs
spaceship earth ain't gonna stop spinning
we exist to be pulled into different potentials energetically waxing and waning to find our own
strength well we got it
these times seem so new
the change well we bought it
it rests on you
the solution is traceless
so enjoy the view
the change could be graceless
it rests on you |
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| Yet another |
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| 07:09pm 11/01/2009 |
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This one's going to have violin noise in the background. One of the more sparse yet, still quite abrasive songs I'm planning:
Priapism
down in the basin
there's flora abound
a rare find indeed
the men shave the trees
they pluck out the roots
they take them all home
they grind up the plants
they put them in pills
the men take the pills
their dicks turn erect
they do not go down
they bleed themselves out
the basin is dead
the horse has no head
the horse has no head
the basin is dead
the horse has no head
the horse has no head |
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| Another one |
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| 05:53pm 11/01/2009 |
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I borrowed the last line of the chorus from Joyce's Finnegan's Wake. The word 'quark' also has its origins in that book. Never got past about page 30 or so. Totally fried my brains out getting that far. I have no idea how people do it. This one's more abstract than "yawn:"
Specmopatron
omit it
permit it
transmit it
switch-hit it
set up the run to trace the edge a measurement impediment
to say avast attack a maddened elemental disarray
the spectrum of the noise includes it all to illustrate
a way a lone a last a loved a long the
unzip it
decrypt it
close-lip it
postscript it
set up the run to trace the edge a measurement impediment
to say avast attack a maddened elemental disarray
the spectrum of the noise includes it all to illustrate
a way a lone a last a loved a long the
regret it
forget it
regret it
forget it
set up the run to trace the edge a measurement impediment
to say avast attack a maddened elemental disarray
the spectrum of the noise includes it all to illustrate
a way a lone a last a loved a long the |
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| Sanguine Yawn |
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| 02:01am 11/01/2009 |
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I broke up with (NAME WITHHELD) 2 months ago. I'm proud of my decision but I probably could have ended it a little better than I did than on the phone (after 3.2 years). That being said, I have few regrets and view her and our relationship very favorably, but it had to end sometime, and I chose now. After that happened, I started taking better care of myself. Better oral hygiene, MUCH more exercise, more focus on my research goals, better diet, and no more pot are a few of the changes I made to my lifestyle, and I feel great. I'm having a fantastic time right now.
Anyway-
I'm doing the RPM challenge again. Look up "_11:34" on google or reverbnation if you want to find my music. This year, 2009's album will be called "Sparse Traceless Matrix" and will be all acoustic and vocals with no percussion. Here's a song I wrote today and yesterday. The subject's pretty obvious:
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Sanguine Yawn
It was her eyes that did me in
a touch so soft a taste of skin
a love so raw a seal so tight
muscles clench every night
with a great inviting swoon
and a face that begs for more
she knows just what to do
a perfect paramour
but her body betrayed the moon
'cause we betrayed our tact
we still don't know for sure
an impulse to abreact (with a)
Sanguine yawn out from her plain
hope for floods of red so we won't have to change
limerance in abeyance waiting we remain
we are still too young to tread on this terrain
if she's a ten then I'm a six
tempers fly when humours mix
a hint of contact is hint enough
into the throes every month
and the mind will conjure scenes
'till the proof of it arrives
I'm responsive to her whims
whatever choice derives
but her body betrayed the moon
'cause we betrayed the information
we fear another heart
weaning, wrenching, or purgation (with a)
Sanguine yawn out from her plain
hope for floods of red so we won't have to change
why am I so stupid, I am just a man
feels like needles barking, upset in the plan
(bridge)
it's a sanguine yawn out from her plain
hope for floods of red so we won't have to change
limerance in abeyance waiting we remain
we are still too young to tread on this terrain |
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| 10:30pm 06/11/2008 |
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Life is good. The neoconservatives will be deposed of their power soon but we are not out of the woods yet; not by a longshot. I mean, you can't expect the government to ever set anything right, just make things more or less wrong. That's where the community comes in. I am studying the electronic structure of silicon nanowires in Grad School at SUNY Albany in a multi-billion dollar nanotech school. I live in the top floor of a mansion with 3 other notoriously awesome people. I'm working on 3 musical projects: 1 Double Album (Get up off the ground state, possibly due by the end of the year.. I keep putting it off... a lot of the parts are really hard to play and I keep running out of space on my laptop's hard drive so I have to constantly shuffle data around), 1 Acoustic album for the RPM challenge in February, and a song-noise soundtrack for a video about nano-hijinks. I hardly have time for any of it. I passed my comprehensive exams so I'm a fucking pro. Here's a song I wrote last night:
-Hysteretic Violence-
caught up inside it
alarmed but allayed
bashful compliance
with verisign(r) silence
bedlam below i thought we asked ourselves
how deep does it go? another day another
shuffling show the deck is split the odds are stacked
patient alignment
of inimical dreams
a petulant highness
and hysteretic violence
give us a break! i thought we asked ourselves
how much can we take? no wait don't answer that
but i want to shake the calibration out of whack
free- bend yourself into place
addicted complacent, permission adjacent
melodic confinement
in a magnetic mist
parsing contrivance
conniptions, connivance
don't fix it it's broke! i thought we asked ourselves
how steep is the slope? i'll take a hammer to this
anvil of hope beat anneal and coact |
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| I got a new bike so don't worry |
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| 08:25am 12/09/2006 |
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Last night I saw Joe Lally in Philly with Antelope and Order of Service. It was a great show. Mike Brennan was there and afterwards I went up to Joe and told him he was an inspriation to me and to never stop what he's doing. I went by myself, and had to take the early train back. I saw Matt Welsh there. Haven't seen him in ages.
I spent the night at my cousin Lynn's dorm at Penn. Nice place.
Cat and I are going back to the FU Church on Friday to see the Errata for our anniversary
Lots and lots to do... no time to waste! |
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| Fuck fuck fuck |
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| 12:19am 27/08/2006 |
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Someone stole my bike from 50 Center street. You don't understand how pissed I am. God has certainly punished me.
You don't understand. My bike was the only way I could get from here to there besides WALKING. I loved it. I LOVED IT. I feel totally destroyed. I have already punched holes in my wall.
It's my fault for being stupid. It's my fault for not locking it up at that party. The police will certainly not help. I don't want a car. I want my bike back, but it will never be mine again. It's long gone. I don't know whether to look for it or what. I will miss it.
If anyone sees a RED GIANT (brand name) RINCON (model name) please alert me or the newark police (non-emergency dispatch).
I think I'm being too hopeful but I really need it back. I hope you understand. My heart is full of rage and regret and guilt. I am truly sorry.
At least I still have the matching helmet |
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schemes_g's journal
